This I Believe
“A film is – or should be – more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what’s behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later.” – Stanley Kubrick
Belief is a funny thing. It can be a powerful tool for change, or a personal driver to success. Yet, it can often times be mis-guided, even destructive, leading to both intentional, and unintentional wrongs. Like all things in this human aresenal of survival, it can be a double edge sword.
In the creation of art, belief can easily succumb to doubt, or cloud our objectivity. In contrast, it can also lead us in bold, new, and transformative directions. Suffice to say, belief is a required ingredient for follow through on any endeavor, creative or otherwise.
The rubber truly meets the road for us creatives though when it comes time to share our work.
As we move outside the comfort zone of our collaborators, peers, and supporters it is inevitable we will run up against criticism of our work. Some harsh, some ridiculous, some warranted, and some not. The best elixir for these criticisms is our belief, true (and objective) belief in the work we are putting out.
My film, PERSON OF INTEREST, marks the first time I have put my own work out into the world in a significant way. And, I have done so with a vervent belief in both the story I am telling, and the way it has been told. That said, I must admit this belief has been hard won. I, like I imagine many filmmakers, and artists, went through several bouts of self doubt, fear, and yes loathing over this project.
While these things are normal in any creative endeavor, I can see clearly now how in retrospect a lot of my anxiety was driven by the fact I had allowed myself to fall into the trap that cripples so many of us before we even make it to the starting line.
I’ve been involved in independent film production since the mid-1990′s and have watched (and experienced personally) as the initial instinct to tell stories and create art was corrupted, even damaged, by the overwhelming and obsessive notion of ‘making it’. The independent film became ’brand’ and suddenly ‘commercial viability’ entered the picture and with it a swift, decisive and hostile corporate takeover of the hearts and minds of artists and filmmakers.
In the early days of PERSON OF INTEREST, I succumbed to this obsession, and it was damaging. Both to my mental state, and more importantly the work.
Admittedly, we’re all dreamers. And, as with any art form, filmmaking is driven in part (well, probably in large part) by the need to be seen. But, now as I emerge on the other side of this endeavor I can see, perhaps for the first time, all that was lost as I have toiled in a system that compels one to compromise, relentlessly, in order to gain the approval of arbitrary gatekeepers, as opposed to simply having a spine, and believing in what it is you do. I am truly saddened by my own, and our shared willingness to forego our sanity, our ownership of the process, innovation in method and creativity, control over our own individual destiny…our own deeper dream(s) to run with inspiration, explore, imagine and frankly -make cool shit. These things, in essence, our creative values, subverted in order to attract a failed status quo that trades on hollow promises, and fear.
In making this film, I stumbled onto the most simple, and profound recognition thus far in my creative journey (as it were). It’s frankly idiotic it took me so long to conjure this one up, but I finally figured out that the best road forward (for me, for any of us) was to simply recognize, and accept my voice, and just go forth and do what I do…as well as I possibly could.
So, ultimately with PERSON OF INTEREST, I threw out the ‘rule book’, cast off the anxiety, and got to work. The end result is a film that steps outside (perhaps way outside) ’the way things are always done’, in narrative structure, style, and execution…and in that appears to be resonating with many, while of course being elusive to some.
Ultimately, I understand that it is not a film for everyone. But, I am confident it is a film for many.
It is a small film, with big ideas, that eludes to a lot, and (much like life) resolves little, offering a glimpse into one man’s journey without dictating how the viewer should feel at every moment within it. When I watch it I am reminded of this quote from Stanley Kubrick, “A film is – or should be – more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what’s behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later.”
Yes, this I believe.
Learn more about PERSON OF INTEREST, and the campaign to take the film on the road at Kickstarter.com.
