At war with ourselves

As the soldiers and families of Ft. Hood (joined by our President and First Lady) lay to rest those killed at the hand of one of their own today, I cannot help but think the lasting legacy of the past 8 years of being a country ‘at war’ is the even more debilitating war within.

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It’s no secret that our national discourse has taken a nose-dive with the sad side effect of reducing our friends and neighbors to caricatures, devolved of their humanity and categorized by bumper sticker headlines. But that is just the ever swirling circus of constant distraction that is America in the 21st century. The deeper and more complex war within is the ever compounding side effects of the circus…the growing culture of indifference, of anti intellectualism and the death of critical thinking.

I think this culture is best summed up by a quote from former President George W. Bush, when discussing the newly dubbed ‘war on terror’ in 2001 he stated, “You’re either with us or against us.” Words that were probably meant to be a show strength of coalition as we began to seek justice after the events of September 11th, had, I believe, an additional and longer lasting global effect. In that moment and in those words the world was given permission, or better, a directive, from the leader of the most powerful nation on earth that it was time divide. Choose your camp, choose your weapon and dig in. It frankly killed all discussion, all reason and did not allow for a moment of contemplation as to what factors brought us to this point in our nation’s history.

Thus, as the immediate, honest, completely understandable and most likely justifiable reaction to what happened on September 11th waned and the war raged on indefinitely it became more and more apparent that we no longer knew exactly what it was that we were fighting for. In essence, a once noble call to duty 8 years later devolved into a global version of Hatfields vs. McCoys.

So in the immediate aftermath of the absolutely devastating shootings at Ft. Hood it was not surprising that headline No. 1 was the fact that the soldier and perpetrator of this horrible crime, Nidal Hasan, was indeed a Muslim. It was the easiest short hand to frame what had happened. No need for discussion, contemplation or investigation.

Luckily this time around, the ensuing days have brought investigation, revealing the truth of our individual humanity. We are not simply “this” or “that”. We, all of us, are complex collections of our lineage, our cultures, our social circumstance, our economy, our religion (or lack thereof), our immediate surroundings and the list goes on. These things do not provide justification for our actions, especially those actions that bring immediate and lasting harm to many, but rather offer us insight to the real reasons, not the off the cuff distractions, as to why this happened.

When my collaborator, J. Reuben Appelman, and I began working on our film Person of Interest in 2007 it was born from this growing feeling that an almost overwhelming heaviness had descended upon our nation after 6 years of war. No matter how close or far your direct connection was to the conflict itself, you couldn’t help but feel something had fundamentally changed in the American psyche. As much as we tried to find solace in our old ideas of the world, to many veils had been lifted and combined with a constant onslaught of conflict (real and manufactured) it was startlingly apparent things were never going to be the same. All of this, I feel, in part came to a head in the broken men and women that were our returning soldiers.

Prior to shooting the film I had conducted some interviews with a very close childhood friend (and his family) who in 2005 had been stop lossed (as part of the National Gaurd) and deployed to Iraq. He, like many who share his story, was not just out of high school or college, but rather already in his 30′s; a husband, a father, involved in his community and generally living what we would describe as the American Dream. So, when he returned I became curious, as a person who has never (and most likely will never) see war close up, how exactly does one go from ‘normal’ life to a war zone and back again? It seemed completely implausible that you could do so without skipping a beat, and after several talks and interviews it became very clear that you don’t really come back at all, not in one piece and never fully as you were before.

With embarrassment, it was the first time I felt the full weight of the phrase “give your life for your country.” I learned from my dear friend whether or not you come back at all or in one piece doesn’t matter, when you go to war, whatever the circumstance of your return…you have given your life.

I know that there is an overwhelming ‘support for the troops’ in this country, which I don’t feel is disingenuous by a long shot. However, much like in our everyday lives, we are in large part suspect of mental illness in this country and especially when it strikes those we view as the strongest among us. The last several years have seen a steady stream of returning warriors thrust back into their lives and communities without support to great consequence. My friend was one of them. And he, like a vast majority of mentally wounded soldiers was unwilling (at first) to seek out help due to the stigma associated with being ‘less than’. A fear institutionalized by the Army itself and unfortunately upheld in our communities at large. A by-product of being a culture of indifference.

After the election last year, and arguable ‘end of an era’, J. and I half-joked that we had taken to long to finish the film and it would soon be irrelevant. In light of many recent events, good and bad, it appears we couldn’t have been more wrong.

The good news is that due to the efforts within the armed forces, by returning soldiers and soldier organizations like the The Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America and the Wounded Warrior Project, soldiers are being heard and policies, especially those dealing with treatment of post traumatic stress and mental health issues are being addressed and in some cases changed.

Sadly, at the same time, we’ve seen a disturbing uptick in vitriol, violence and attempted (for the moment) domestic terrorism plots in this country.

And then there is Ft. Hood and Nidal Hasan. Is it a simple story of ideology driving someone to violence or is it something much deeper? A truly American story of unchecked pressures of war in an age of ambiguity and us vs. them? I honestly cannot imagine the sense of betrayal, anger and overwhelming sadness his comrades and community at large must be feeling in this moment. I, like most I’m sure, hope justice is served, quickly. I also hope that this case serves as a point of true contemplation of where we could be headed if this war within is not addressed in a tangible way in our very immediate future.

The circus can only continue as long as ‘we the people’ are willing to buy the ticket.